Today was a good day.
We had our first Gigi’s Playhouse experience and it was fantastic. Jeremy is still in Bowl prep so it was just me and the kiddos, and we were late (of course). In true fashion, we came in like a wrecking ball, but the best part about this community is no one is even phased by the chaos. We walked in late, Fitz fussing, Beau pin balling off my hip not watching where she was going, and were greeted with a big smile. The best part was seeing the familiar face of a friend we met back in the spring during our first new parent’s meeting at NCDSA and her kiddo who is the same age as Fitz. Of course, the second we sat down and I smiled at everyone around me, giving the sheepish “hi, glad to be here, sorry to be late” shoulder shrug, Fitz spit up on me, himself, and the floor. Grand entrance as per usual. Again, no one was even phased. Have I mentioned how much these really are my people?
The best part is that while typing this, a wail came through the monitor, which means one of two things… Fitz has gas or Fitz has to poop. Both of which usually end with a spit up. My boy. It’s one of those things as a parent you know you can’t stop in time so you just sit back and watch it happen, and sure enough, we heard the gag cough I’ve heard grown men make when hungover and soon his cheek had a glisten visible in the night vision of the video monitor. At least this was just a toot (also stinky enough to come from a grown hungover man).
Anyways, back to earlier today. I really enjoyed being in this environment today learning about various Christmas time signs. I’m eager to learn sign language and hope it’s something Beau picks up too! Beau had a blast playing with her “friends” (the amazing volunteers) and play dough. Not only did we make a grand entrance, but a dramatic exit as well, because that child did NOT want to leave. During our time at Gigi’s today I had a glimpse in to what our future with Fitz might look like. Even though there’s always the worry about how he’ll progress (as it relates to his health), it was so fun to see the older toddlers just being happy, smiley, sometimes sassy, toddlers. So far I have not had too many opportunities to see a flash of the past, but that will come as Fitz gets older.
I still get nervous bringing Beau to these events, wondering if she’ll have loud observations or questions that come across as “rude.” I’ve done a lot of internal processing on this. One the one hand, I hope she asks questions, because that’s the type of life experience I want to create for her – constantly questioning, learning, wondering. But on the other hand, what if she asks something “offensive?” Now being a part of a child with Down syndrome, I would prefer for someone to ask questions and interact with us, rather than be shushed and stare from afar. So why is it I worry about my own child? I’m sure with time I’ll become more comfortable and confident in approaching these situations.
I saw a post where someone shared they want parents to encourage their child to ask questions, introduce themselves, and point out commonalities, not just differences. I LOVE this and hope to experiences many interactions like this in the future. Maybe my greatest apprehension right now has nothing to do with Down syndrome and “differences.” Maybe it just stems from the fact that I get anxious when meeting new people and constantly overthink small talk. I’ve caught myself overthinking so many things since Fitz. Even sneeze becomes worst case scenario. A tongue quiver becomes a neurological concern. A different textured poop becomes a GI worry. So of course simple introductions and small talk become “what do I share, do I address Down syndrome, do they want to know his entire medical history?”
I believe the moral of the story is to let the kids take the lead. Go right in and loudly announce how much you like someone’s shoe color. Point out the character on their t-shirt. Observe whatever food they’re eating and declare that’s now your new favorite food.
Out of the mouths of babes.
We decided to go out for dinner once Jeremy was home from work and our great day continued. We had a massive booth (I know all the parents out there appreciate the simple joy ample dining space can provide). No one cried during the entire dinner. Beau only needed two bathroom breaks (only one of which was fake). And the evening ended with a short walk to look at Christmas lights. While earlier in the day I was struck by the simple innocence of childlike curiosity and acceptance, I found myself overpowered with emotions seeing the literal twinkle of wonderment both kids had in their eyes by the tree. To be honest, the tree was shit. Somewhere between parking for dinner and leaving, half of the lights went out. They didn’t care. They saw lights and that was enough.
I hope to have more days like today. Where the simplicity of Christmas lights is enough. Where being happy exactly where I am at is enough.
Today was a good day.